Monday, April 30, 2007

It Was the Greatest of Times

April showers bring May flowers so I’m told. And with the onset of the spring season come clear skies and warmer climes just in time for Little 500—a week of raging, but forgivable debauchery that I absolutely love. It’s at this time of the year that I’m usually overwhelmed by the ire that accompanies final exams. Having only three finals this semester, I’m out enjoying the novelty of this long overdue year-end leisure. An outstanding bounty I’ll graciously collect.

With that said, instead of being outdoors basking under the sun, I’m sitting at a cluttered desk writing a blog post about college graduation that nobody will read. And to think that after four years of college I’m still single. (I personally prefer the designation "eligible bachelor" because, of course, that term carries glimmerings of celebrity distinction.) But that is neither here nor there. Besides, I couldn't care less about my companionless Facebook relationship status. Furthermore, obviously lacking is an "eligible bachelor" option in the drop-down query so that, in and of itself, only reinforces my fervid philosophical objection to Facebook's shitty relationship taxonomy. (Note: I often babble aimlessly to make sure that I'm not only living, but conscious. Checking my pulse determines only the former and not the latter.) I think now is a good point to get back to college graduation.

Again, I've ruined yet another potentially high-minded blog post. (My goal was to wax nostalgic, but as you can see, I fucked that one up in no time.) And because of that, I feel terribly guilty for wasting so much time and energy. So instead of blathering incessantly, here's a preliminary excerpt from the real college graduation manifesto that I've been working on for the past few days. It's my hope to have the final draft done by the end of the week. Read it, and weep:

As the twilight of my collegiate livelihood nears and as I prepare to enter the nine-to-five working world, I’ll be able to look back knowing that my experience at Indiana University was the greatest of times relished alongside the best of friends.

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